Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
