he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
