you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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