Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's blow job season.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
