Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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