I feel like abortions should bother me more
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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