Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
