we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
