from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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