why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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