so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Bring me that man meat
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
