We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
