I'm so fucking centered right now
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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