So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
