hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
