also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
