i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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