So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
