Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
