We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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