I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
