I love having hate sex.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
