I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
