Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
