Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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