As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
