But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
