Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
