I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
