a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
