having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
