After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
