is your mom at the bar?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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