So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
jump out the window naked night went bad
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
