Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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