whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
