it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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