Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How does it feel to date your dad?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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