this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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