covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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