I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
