fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
