Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
