omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
