is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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