this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Text me some of your sweat
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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