I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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