I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
