I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize