I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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